I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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