I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm experimenting with sincerity
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize