woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize