oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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