and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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