I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
