We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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