Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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