put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
