I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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