btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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