White coat. Heels.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
