I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
