we're blogging at a bar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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