I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
