Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
