Will you blow on my dice?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
