no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
