have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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