Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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