I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Me too!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize