Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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