And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
