you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
