So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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