I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
