i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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