the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
