I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
