That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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