There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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