vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
