the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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