What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
