Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
