i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
