and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
