Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.