this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.