Duck Duck Cougar?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!