Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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