All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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