if you like me you must not know who I am
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize