I heard we made out
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
