I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
