I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
