Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
