Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
