We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
