It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
