I don't usually arrange sex via text message
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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