Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize