it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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