i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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