I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?