I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
