you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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