Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They are going to name an STD after you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
