I cannot find my penis.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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