Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
