I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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